"This will be your year to shine" (and other lies)

So, we're nearing New Year's Eve, otherwise known as International Lie to Yourself Day. 

     Admit it, you know it's true. On New Year's Eve, as we straddle the line between the past and the future, we tell ourselves lies like:

• "Next year will be my year!"
• "I'm going to be a better person in the new year!"
• "I'm leaving the past behind!"
• "I'm actually going to stick to my resolutions this time!"

And the beloved classic:

• "New year, new me!"

     I'm not going to pretend that I'm above all of that, that I haven't told myself these lies in the past. One quick perusal of my journals will show you tons of them. A rough outline of my journal entries every New Year's Eve would be: "I can't believe another year is over! It was mediocre, but I have a good feeling about next year. I just know that this will be my year." [Yes, I keep a journal. Of course I do. It's a healthy thing, I swear]. Judging by the fact that I said those things every year, you can pretty much infer that my 'good feelings' didn't really amount to much. 

     So why waste your time? Setting these lofty goals and expectations for the new year isn't productive at all. Think about it; our entrance into a new year is just as mundane as it is into just another day. Though some might be a little more hungover than usual, we'll all wake up in 2015 in the same groggy manner that we did in 2014, and all the years before it. No magical transformation occurs. 

     So on this International Lie to Yourself Day, break the cycle of those lofty expectations. Instead of those lies, tell yourself things like:

• "I'm going to make an effort to be nicer to people this year."
• "I don't need the turning of a year to make a change; I can try new things whenever I want."
• "This may not be the best year of my life, but I'll try my best to make it a good one."

     I guarantee that if you don't expect too much of yourself, and you don't put so much pressure on making big changes in the new year, you'll be more at peace with yourself. Don't feel pressured to make resolutions. That doesn't mean you can settle for regression; complacency isn't productive either. But instead of focusing on a better year, simply focus on a better tomorrow. Be at peace with who you are, and don't stress about having to make 2015 the 'best year ever.' Happy New Year!

Soundtrack: + by Ed Sheeran 

     

Do Selfies Make Us Vain?

The society that teaches girls (and boys) that posting selfies makes them vain is the same one that teaches them to mask self-love with self-loathing.     
   
     We all get at least a little bit nostalgic as each year nears its end, and I am definitely not immune to this phenomenon. The other day, I decided to take a trip down memory lane and look through all of my Instagram photos. In doing so, I noticed a trend; I had posted quite a few selfies within the past year and a half. I started to get a little embarrassed, worrying that this caused me to appear vain and self-centered. After all, when you post a selfie, you're basically saying, "I like how I look in this picture, so I'm showing everyone." I always get really annoyed when girls hashtag their selfies with "ugly," or "gross." If you really thought you looked ugly in the photo, you wouldn't post it.
     Usually, those negative hashtags are used as a cover-up, an overcompensation to prevent people from labeling those who post them as arrogant. So does posting a selfie make you conceited? No. It makes you self-aware. You'll post a selfie when you feel the most at peace with yourself, the most comfortable with who you are and what you look like. There's absolutely nothing wrong with loving who you are enough to show the world. The society that teaches girls (and boys) that posting selfies makes them vain is the same one that teaches them to mask self-love with self-loathing. 
     We're taught that the most accepted emotions we should feel towards ourselves are disdain and disapproval. If this wasn't the case, there wouldn't be a market for procedures like plastic surgery and beauty products such as makeup. We live in a world of slut-shaming, body-shaming, gender norms, and expectations. It's like we're never supposed to be fully accepting of ourselves; we always have to want to look better. This "better" comes in so many different forms that it's nearly impossible to perfect them all, trapping us into a never-ending maze of bitterness and self-loathing. And if, by chance, at least for a day, we do like ourselves, we're taught to feel wrong. We're supposed to stay trapped in the maze, in a futile attempt to reach an unattainable perfection. 
     I say we call bullshit on that. Let us love ourselves. Let us be comfortable with who we are. Let us post selfies that range from silly to sophisticated, and not feel judged or guilty for them. Let us preach self-love instead of self-loathing. That never-ending maze doesn't have an end because, just like "perfection," it doesn't even exist- you do. You're real, and real is beautiful. 
     So go ahead. Look into the mirror, and say, "You're beautiful," and mean it. It won't make you arrogant, I promise. And if you like how your hair looks, your eyes look, your outfit looks, etc., go ahead and post a selfie. Don't be afraid to show the world who you are. 

(I've decided to note the music I was listening to while writing each post, so..)
Soundtrack: Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie